Ideas, Thoughts, Techniques on being a good Slave
It is a question that many submissives ask.
How do you be a good slave?
How do you do what is required of you?
To be honest, it isn’t a question that can have a definitive answer. The world of bdsm and S & M is so vast, with so many areas, that it is impossible to pinpoint “this is how you do it properly”. For example, a slave who undergoes small penis humiliation has an entirely different set of regulations, for want of a better word, than a sissy maid has. Likewise, the sissy maid has different requirements than a cock and ball torture slave.
So the question you should be asking is how do I be a good slave? The answer to that lies very much is what type of s&m activities you are “into”.
It should also be noted that while it is important to be, or at least want to be, a good slave it is equally important to have a good Mistress, one who actually knows what she is doing.
There are hundreds of women out there and on femdom cam sites who think it is easy to be a dominatrix. You call a guy a pig or a loser, maybe slap his balls a few times or give him a few whacks with a cane and that’s all there is to it. Wrong.
On so many levels. A good Dominatrix, a REAL Mistress, will understand that a slave can only be a good slave if he is effectively nurtured. That might seem strange to some. “Nurtured? They’re slaves. You treat them like dirt don’t you?”. Technically you do but you have to remember, a slave is like a pencil. If you break it, it’s no good for you. Likewise, if you break your male slave then he’s no use to you after that.
A proper Domme will take the time to find out what a subs area of preference in bdsm is and then what his limits are then pushed them to the edge but not way over them. Only with a good mistress can a good slave be found.
So back to the question that brought you here. Firstly, you need to admit what turns you on. You need to admit to yourself you want SPH, CBT, sissy maid crossdressing, boot worship or whatever it is about bdsm that gets you off. When you are ready to admit it to a dominatrix, you will be able to be a better slave.
You need to accept that fundamentally, femdom, bdsm and S&M are fantasy. Lifestyle and permanently live in slaves do exist but the majority of submissive males, especially the type who are reading this, are in it for the fantasy.
They want to be owned, made to serve and be dominated but only for as long as a session. You can always be a sub to females but a femdom session is a different thing. That is why you need to admit what you want and be detailed. It’s no good saying “I want to be humiliated” to a Mistress. Humiliated how? SPH? Cuckolded? Fat Shaming? Name calling? Boot or ass worship? There are 5 examples off the top of my head, and there are hundreds possibly thousands of other examples.
If you just say “humiliate me” then she has to totally guess what you really want and if it’s not what you are fantasising then you will not respond to it in the way that is expected. Do you think this will make you a good slave? Hardly!
Likewise, if you like cock and ball torture but you neglect to tell her, hoping she can read your mind, and she goes down the route of anal play then you will obviously resist this and begin to act out. That is no good to anyone.
There are two types of female domination. Sensual and strict. Sensual is where a soft-spoken Domme will have a slave but be kind to him. Speaking nicely, having him rub her feet, fetch her tea etc. She is always in charge and he always knows his place but it is a calm environment where a slave is treated fairly.
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The other type is strict. This one is where the sub is treated like dirt. Slapped, kicked, mocked, ridiculed, humiliated and insulted. These sessions are more brutal, for want of a better word, and the Dominatrixes need to know what kind of sub you are. If you are a sensual type, then having her sneer and spit at you isn’t going to work. Likewise, if you desire a man hater then her asking you to fetch her a cup of tea isn’t going to get your motor running.
So now we have established that you need to tell your Domme what you want and enjoy, how do you be what is expected? Well, the fundamental number one rule is “Always be respectful”.
This woman is naturally dominant and as such sees herself superior to you. This isn’t part of the roleplay or fantasy. A true Dominatrix feels this way 24/7.
Therefore she must always be treated with the utmost respect. That means calling her Mistress (teenage Dommes sometimes prefer Princess), following her commands to the letter and not answering back.
A good slave will know what his owner wants before she asks. If he sits down after a days shopping, she shouldn’t have to tell you to take her boots off and rub her feet. If she bends over, you should worship her ass before she has to tell you. However, you need to be careful you don’t overstep your boundaries. An overeager slave is not a good slave. She might not want you salivating and touching her so it is a very fine line, one which must be treated with caution.
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Of course being a good slave is not always about doing exactly as you are told. Some subs like to be punished. You might enjoy a whipping, a spanking or a belting. Maybe some face slapping or hair pulling.
You can “step out of line” and receive this but still be considered “good”. A good Domina will know the difference between disrespect and purposeful wrongdoing as part of the roleplay fantasy. You don’t need to worry about not being seen as a good slave if you need to be punished. It doesn’t make you a bad one
So in conclusion, being a good slave is not an exact science nor totally reliant on the submissive. To be a good sub you must show respect, be honest and don’t be afraid. If you are genuinely afraid of your Mistress then she isn’t doing her job right.
Read our bdsm rules here
You should fear to displease her but if you are terrified then you will not be effective. To be a good slave you need to be scared of upsetting her but not so terrified you piss your pants at the thought of angering her. It is a balance. One which you will find as you enter the world of BDSM and find a Mistress
Below is some Bdsm Rules for Slaves to follow