Bdsm Rules

Let’s Take A Look At Some Of The Bdsm Rules

Anyone not familiar with S &M, femdom or BDSM could be forgiven for thinking it was a free for all for the Dominant and the submissive just had to accept all and anything thrown at them.

Those who are in the scene, however, know that this is nowhere near the case. Whilst one partner is “in control” and the other is under that control, in reality, BDSM is all about consent.

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One party is consenting to be dominated by the other. It is important to create a safe area where the scenario and sessions can be acted or played out without anyone, as daft as this may sound, getting hurt (I know, it’s a weird thing to say!)

There are rules which are prevalent and which must always be adhered to. It may seem bizarre for a vanilla person to accept but s&m and femdom are actually supposed to be fun and if the rules are not stuck to then one party ceases to have fun and the whole thing is a waste of everyone’s time.

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It is therefore vitally important that the rules are enforced. If you are new to the scene and are unsure of how to go forward, here we have a list of the basic BDSM rules which should be used to ensure all parties have a good experience and that the essence of play safe is respected.

9 Important Rules In Bdsm 

1 – Always Have A Safeword
It is of vital importance that a safeword is given BEFORE the session begins. A sub will naturally yell “no, stop” but this will usually be part of the “game”. Begging the Domina to stop while she keeps going is exciting and part of the game. It is pointless if she stops because of it. That’s why it is good to have a safeword that is nothing to do with the scenario. The word “red” is the most commonly used option. It is never going to be used unless wanted so it makes for a good choice.

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2 – If The Safeword Is Used, Stop Immediately
As already said, trust is the major component to any BDSM session. Combine that with the enjoyment factor and you understand the importance of respecting any safeword usage. No matter how much a Domme is enjoying whipping or caning her sub if he uses the word, she will/must stop immediately. Likewise, although it is rare, a Domina may also use a safeword if the bottom is making her feel uncomfortable (for example if they are playing out a kidnap scenario and he is fighting back a little too much). In short, when the word is spoken, the session has been suspended.

3 – Always Obey Each Others Limits
It is often said in BDSM circles “I push peoples limits and beyond”. Best advice? Steer well clear of those types of people. Everyone has limits and you should NEVER try to go beyond them. They are limits for a reason. A huge part of BDSM is trust. If a sub no longer trusts their Dom then it can never be replaced.

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4 – Never Meet Someone You Don’t Know In Private
May seem fairly obvious but you would be surprised how many people meet total strangers off the internet and allow them to put them in bondage. Always make sure someone knows where you are, has a way of contacting or locating you and that you have a way of communicating with someone else. Also, NEVER let a stranger secure you using rope, cuffs, stocks etc till you know them and trust them 100%

5 – Respect Each Others Limits
Similar to rule number 3, respecting the other parties limits is important. They should always be respected, even if you would rather push further.

6 – Use SSC
SSC stands for Safe, Sane & Consensual. Safe means you know what you are doing and aren’t putting anyone in harm’s way. No hanging someone by the neck or covering their head in a plastic bag. Sane means that all parties involved are not being forced or coerced and everyone is there of their own free will.

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7 – Use RACK
RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. It is a step up from SSC and means that you are indulging in acts not considered safe (breath play, blood play, mummification etc) but you are both still willing to go ahead. It is an edgy framework that lets both sides know what they are getting into

8 – Respect The Difference Between Fantasy & Reality
Many people have massively intricate and even dangerous fantasies that turn them on but have no wish to make a reality. Talking about it is one thing but never confuse a discussion or something that is said in a session with an open invitation to proceed with that act. For example, a female sub may say her fantasy is to be used as a sex slave at an all-male party, forced to suck cock and be fucked multiple times but that doesn’t mean she wants a surprise party thrown where she is the entertainment.

Likewise, a male sissy slave may express a desire to be fucked up the ass by a man but that doesn’t mean he actually wants it. Stick to what is verbally agreed for physical acts and let the fantasies remain only spoken. The fetish world is brought into many Bdsm Scenario

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9 – Always Respect Your Partner
A ballbusting, man-hating bitch she may be within a session but a real Dominatrix will always respect her sub, his limits and what he is looking for in a femdom session. The Mistress may not respect the slave but a Domme will respect the submissive if that makes sense.

Likewise, the sub must always respect his Mistress. Many wannabe subs will talk back, bark orders and “try their luck” but this shows a total lack of respect. Respecting each other, and showing that respect, ensures you both feel comfortable to carry on with the session.

The above are 9 rules important for BDSM and femdom as a whole and cover both parties but what about rules for a Dominant? OR for a submissive? Both the “top” and the “bottom” have separate rules they should always adhere to.

Rules For A Submissive In BDSM Session

Rules for a sub to follow

1 – Surrender Completely To Your Dominant
You must surrender completely to your Mistress or Master. Unless you go “all in” then neither one of you will get any enjoyment or satisfaction from the session. You must trust in their ability and surrender heart, body and soul.

2 – Always Address Your Mistress Respectfully
It goes without saying really. Different Dommes have different titles. Either Mistress, Goddess, Lady or Princess. Whichever moniker she uses though, she should always be addressed respectfully by using it.

3 – Always Seek To Please Your Mistress
It is not just about doing as you are told. A real, proper slave will actively seek out ways to please his Mistress, even at the detriment to himself. Figure out what she enjoys or likes and look to do these for her, even if it is in detriment to your own dignity.

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4 – Communicate Clearly And Openly
Whatever you are “in to”, it is important you are clear and honest with her. It’s no good keeping things to yourself or saying you enjoy things you don’t. Neither of you has any fun that way. You need to set your limits, what you want, what you enjoy etc so be clear and open. This also includes the use of the safe word. If you want to use it, be sure to say it loud and clear.

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5 – If I Violate Any Of The Rules, I Will Tell Mistress And Accept My Fate
To surrender yourself completely to another, this includes the parts she can’t see. Your mind. Trust is the most important aspect and if you violate any of the rules, even just in your head, you need to tell her and atone for your sins.

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6 – When being Spanked, Count The Blows
Why should she have to keep count? You’re the one who messed up and needs to be punished so it’s up to you to keep “score”. Count out loud after each blow and be sure to thank her afterwards as well.

7 – Orgasms Are A Privilege
You have zero control over your orgasms. You must seek permission to orgasm and if permission is denied, you accept with grace that it is for your own good and you thank Mistress. If she gives permission then you thank her afterwards as well.

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8 – Keep Yourself Groomed Properly
No woman deserves to be subjected to an unsightly pubic region. Keep your short or shaved and well groomed.

9 – Follow All Orders To The Letter
Always obey all orders given to you and never question or answer back. You are the submissive. It is your responsibility to follow commands given and to make your Mistresses life better by serving her, not making it difficult.

10- Use safe words without fear
If you feel you have gone too far and wish to stop, you should use the safe word as soon as you realise. She needs to know you are enjoying the session so she needs to be sure you will use the safeword the second it gets too hard or uncomfortable for you.

Despite what vanilla people seem to believe, being a Domme is not a free for all to do anything she wants. Here are also certain rules she must follow and, as the one with all the power, it is arguably a much greater responsibility she holds with regard to rule following.

Bdsm Rules For a Dominatrix

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1 – Respect A Slaves Limits At All Times
Nothing violates trust more than going too far. No matter how much you may want to, you must never push beyond someone’s limits and should always remain within them.

2 – Always Act In A Subs Best Interests
Even if this contradicts with your own personal wants or desires, your subs best interests come first. You may wish to continue the caning or whipping but if they are almost passing out then you must stop. If you have a slave locked in chastity, it is unsafe to go longer than 2 to 3 months without releasing pent up cum so you may enjoy his frustration but he should be granted permission to cum.

3 – ALWAYS Respect The Use Of The Safe Word
If the safe word is used, stop the act IMMEDIATELY. A sub won’t use the word for no reason. He is telling you it has stopped being fun for him so the second the word is said, stop what you are doing. The session needn’t be broken. Have him kiss your feet or something, but whatever you were doing when he said the safeword must be ceased.

4 – Listen To Your Subs Needs And Desires
Being A Dom is not about being a bitch. There’s a world of difference. You must always listen to your slave and hear what he wants from a session. If he is into cbt, there is no point in using forced feminization. A femdom session is not all about you, despite you having all the power and control.
These are the basic outline of the rules concerning BDSM. Follow them and it should ensure that all parties involved have an enjoyable and more importantly, a safe experience.

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