Ruined Orgasms – What is it?
A”ruined orgasm” is when it is disturbed or delayed just before it gets fully satisfying. If your submissive is turned on by that and enjoys the senses and psychological effect of being exposed to this type of scenario, by all means, you could see and use it as a reward. Both Male and females can have ruined orgasms, using different techniques.
Commanding the female rub her clit until she is close to orgasm and following the instructions below
The best way to execute a ruined – orgasm is after an extended time of having been locked in chastity just when he is at the stage of desperation and extremely sensitive to touch and would do anything for a release.
We can use many different types of techniques of inflicting and ruining the person’s orgasm, however, we have found that this one is acceptable for those just starting out and dabbling with it:
However, unless you’re positive and have faith in him to not”take over” in the crucial moment, begin with ensuring his hands are secure. Check out our article on orgasm control
Apply some sort of cream or lube to the fingers and start to gently tease the cock based upon your slave’s reactions you will know how fast or slow to go with this, continue by rubbing his shaft and getting him worked to be on the edge and bursting to cum.
Keep rubbing up and down(just below the head) in between the thumb and forefingers, or by gently pinching his frenulum (the sensitive area on the underside of his penis, just below the head) and immediately”twiddling it”.
If you feel this amount of stimulation does not get him to where you want him to then take a hold of him and circle him making sure you always use a well-lubricated thumb and forefinger (Never use the other fingers ), right under the head of his penis, and gently begin to move and rub upwards and downwards.
Try not to stimulate the full size of the male’s manhood, because that would be taking a risk that you could be pushing your slave to a”normal” orgasm because he would get from having sex and the feelings that bring when you experience deep long thrusting of sex.
The instant he’s over that excited feeling and over the brink, stop the stimulations instantly.
The good thing about that is if you time it right you could lead him into a ruined orgasm –this is where the ejaculations would be muted, and his feeling of pleasure and having released will be a mere distance and far apart from the feeling of a regular orgasm and what that would have supplied.
Read our article on BDSM edge play and how to proceed with it
If perhaps you were to get the timings wrong, then he would not ejaculate at all (and that means you’re free to keep on teasing him if you want ) or he might have a complete orgasm.
An advantage of having a ruined orgasm for a surprise is that he won’t understand what you intended in the first instance.
If your slave is locked in chastity or open tube device for a long while, he can get so frustrated and aroused, and his body so insistent on creating an erection, the flesh of his penis moves throughout the cage openings.
Stroking this flesh can subsequently result in an orgasm that’s destroyed by his inability to get properly hard and excited, by the restricted lockable cage, and perhaps due to the squeezing/constricting effect of the tight tube.
This can offer your sub a way to cheat, but in addition, it provides you with a sex toy and a no-brainer method of giving him a destroyed orgasm. Just keep him locked in, use a lot of lube, and masturbate him until he creates whatever orgasm and ejaculation are possible while constrained within the device.
More on masturbation with orgasm control – For those who want to test it out online with different techniques and Ideas. You could also chat with one of the online female dominatrixes who enjoy controlling the male submissives orgasm through power exchange and kinky play
Stop all stimulation once he reaches the point of no return. * Your ability to destroy your slave’s orgasms is a powerful demonstration of his powerlessness at your hands, and it could be that he really gets off on this.
If so, then the presence of ruined orgasms can increase the mind-blowing sensations and feelings of his real orgasms, if you give him a judicious, teasing reminder of your energy and power over him at the crucial moment.
Some folks believe that the most perfect kind of orgasm control is where the submissive learns to orgasm when ordered to do so, requiring no stimulation except for this verbal command.
This is unlikely to be attainable out with of fantasy type sessions, but it can be possible, with practice and training, to control the orgasm and to have your slave deliver one.
You might wonder why anybody would have to be told to have an orgasm because guys are usually so excited for sexual pleasure and release, but… a chastity-minded servant might prefer to not have an orgasm at that particular moment because the long-term turn-on of staying submissively pure could be more important to him than the momentary gratification of discharge.
Even a slave who would like an orgasm might want to control the time.
If nothing else, if an orgasm is on the cards for him then presumably he is engaged in sexual activity with you (or at least appreciating your sexual attention).
The sort of forced orgasm I am discussing here isn’t the same as a destroyed orgasm, although destroyed orgasms are often forced.
Nor is it all about having sex (or stimulating him) with the intent of continuing until he climaxes. An”orgasm on command” occurs according to your own schedule, and is completely satisfying for your slave — and to you too, if you like watching him perform at your orders.
The purpose is to make him delay his orgasm until you’re ready, and then to orgasm as soon as possible when you give the word.
As you’re going to be busy stimulating him throughout the waiting part, this is going to take a good deal of self-control on his part; he will need your help and patience so as to learn it.
What you have to know
Precisely how his pre-orgasmic expressions develop as you excite him so that you can judge where he is, and tell when he’s about to climax.
What his”hot-buttons” are, so you can physically or verbally push them thus tip him over the edge. Start by taking him almost all of the way to orgasm.
Use the same commanding tone and the identical type of words every time; the power of ritual will become a part of what propels him along the mandatory path.
His hot-buttons might include How You stimulate his penis or any other physical action, or it could be something you say — anything which you know plays powerfully into his private kinks or fetishes, and that is going to kick him beyond the stage of no return.
Once he is ejaculated, let’s understand how happy you are that he is obeyed you so well. If you feel he is cumming too early, provide the control instantly and go through the process;
rescue any discussion of what went wrong for your aftercare phase. This is really a learning process for the two of you and there is always another time.
Keep in mind that:
you can certainly do things to induce an orgasm before you have commanded it. This will usually be more rewarding than forcing him to the edge, and then appreciating his responses as he desperately attempts to resist.
If he is tired or sexually sated, he may have the opposite difficulty: the inability to deliver an orgasm immediately in response to control.
Even taking into consideration if his bladder is full this in itself can have some type of effect on how he responds as that pressure could make it very hard for him to delay, but it could make it easier for him to deliver on command.
Having the pressure of a tightly hinged or even a flexible type of cockring (best if it is one that fits over his cock and scrotum, sitting tightly against his body) can have the same type of effect.
If you own a tube-based chastity device that protects him using a hinged ring (or perhaps an old hair scrunchy) then you have something suitable.
Over time, as he sees and develops better skills and learns the ritual element of your control and understands your power, it’s possible he will slowly rely on your own control, and much less on additional button-pushing, to activate his orgasm.
If you prefer, test him with a few gentle button-pushing techniques prior to you giving the command. At some point, you might wind up getting your control itself becoming the major hot-button, possibly even the only one you will ever need.
Please be conscious that good control over orgasm isn’t something which each and every person or slave will be able to understand. If your slave cannot wait till you let him have an orgasm, or when he can not respond immediately to your control, then fear not as there are loads of other ways for you to have outstanding, orgasm-controlling enjoyment with him.
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You may also want to read – ruined Orgasm Instruction