Bdsm Discipline – Spanking Ideas

A Guide to BDSM Discipline and Spanking Scenarios

Spanking and discipline. Naughty and nice. The thrill of submitting to punishment and the joy of doling it out. We all have a bit of brat in us, don’t we? What better way to indulge our kinky sides than with some good old-fashioned BDSM discipline?

From bare-bottomed OTK spankings to creative scenarios involving crops and paddles, this guide will take you by the hand and lead you straight to the warm, red glow of a well-spanked behind.

Whether you’re a cheeky submissive in need of correction or a stern Dominant ready to dish it out, you’ll find plenty of erotic inspiration within these pages. So grab a paddle and get ready to explore the intoxicating world of consensual kinky punishment. It’s time to get disciplined…

One of the most erotic and popular acts of BDSM (and especially female domination) is spanking.


An Introduction to BDSM Discipline

BDSM discipline involves correcting behaviour through punishment like spanking, paddling or flogging. As a submissive, I find it arousing to relinquish control to my Dominant, who takes on the role of disciplining me when I break the rules or act out.

Types of Discipline

The most common methods are over-the-knee (OTK) spanking, paddling and flogging. An OTK spanking involves being put over the knee, bare bottom up, for a spanking by hand. Paddling uses a leather paddle to discipline the sub. Flogging uses a multi-tailed whip. These range from gentle to intense.

Why Discipline?

For me, discipline helps reinforce my submissive mindset and the power dynamics in my relationship. The pain from a spanking, when done properly in a scene, triggers endorphins that give me a rush. Discipline also provides consequences for bad behaviour and helps me correct my faults to be a better sub for my Dom.

Negotiating a Scene

It’s important to discuss limits, safe words and aftercare before any BDSM scene. Discuss what implement will be used, how hard and for how long. I like to start lighter, around 5-10 swats, and build up as I get into the right headspace. After a scene, cuddling, massaging where I was struck and praising me for taking my punishment well are ideal aftercare.

Discipline play isn’t for everyone, but for submissives like me, it provides an outlet to let go of control and intimately reconnect with my Dominant. When done with care and consent, discipline can be a highly erotic form of BDSM play.

Common BDSM Discipline Methods


As a submissive, one of my favourite discipline methods is a good old-fashioned spanking. There are so many ways a Dom can spank – with their bare hand, a paddle, a whip, a flogger, you name it. The mix of pain and pleasure leaves my bottom stinging and begging for more. Spankings are perfect for minor infractions and also make great funishment.

Restricting Movement

When I’ve been an especially naughty brat, restricting my movement is an effective form of discipline. My Dom will tie me up, chain me to the bed, or put me in a cage. Not being able to move freely reminds me of my place and gives me time to reflect on my behaviour. The loss of control and forced submission is both frustrating and arousing.

Assigning Lines

For small acts of defiance, my Dom will often assign me lines to write as punishment. Having to write out “I will obey my Dom immediately” or “I will not talk back” over and over ingrains those lessons into my mind. It’s a tedious, boring task, but that’s rather the point. The repetition and mindless nature of the assignment made me regret my actions and strive to do better next time.

There are so many ways for a Dom to discipline their sub. The methods they choose depend on the personality of both participants and the severity of the offence. But no matter the technique, the end goal is the same – to teach me my proper place and make me a better sub.


Everyone who isn’t into BDSM assumes spanking happens on the buttocks. This may be true 99% of the time but the backs of the thighs are also a good place for simulation. Anywhere that has fatty tissue covering the body is a good place. You can read more about our spanking chat rooms here

What areas to avoid when spanking

Areas with organs, joints, or veins should be avoided as these can cause unintended damage. The bum is the number 1 choice though and with good reason.

Plump and usually hidden, the shame of having it exposed is bad but the main reason is that the nerves in the ass are intertwined with the genitalia so when the ass nerves are stimulated, the genitals also get a workout.

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The most common is an over-the-knee (OTK) scenario but it can also be applied by having the submissive bent over a table or by facing them, putting your arm around them to force them to bend over then spanking them whilst you are both upright.

Sometimes it depends on the Mistresses’ mood but usually, it is how the slave imagines it unfolding in his fantasy.

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Two types of Spank That Are applied in spanking Session

Two types of spank can also be applied. A string or a thud. The string is designed to stimulate the skin (usually a spanking session will begin with a few slaps to warm the skin up.

Steaming right in with heavy blows can cause some damage) whilst the thud is more aimed at the underlying fatty tissue which will begin to tremble and redden as the spanking gathers pace.

What tools to use when spanking a slave

The main problem with a stinging blow though is that it will usually hurt the Mistress more than the sub so it is usually performed by using a wooden spoon, a hairbrush, or a paddle.

These are incredibly effective (more so than by use of hand) and can quickly produce the reddish cheeks and burning sensation required, not to mention producing the dramatically loud sound associated with a good thrashing. They also make the submissive yell and wriggle so it is a good all-rounder.

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The Thud Spank

The thud blow is a different animal altogether. Designed for maximum impact and pain, it comes by raising her hand high above her head and swinging from her shoulder, aiming not for the actual buttocks but the fleshy tissue underneath. These types of sessions will produce a little reddening at the time (certainly less than the stinger) but will give way to a deep array of bruising a few hours later.

It will always make for a squirming, desperate slave and tears are not uncommon after only a few blows. Again, hairbrushes and paddles are good implements but birch or tawse can also be good tools to use. She can also use her hand as unlike conventional wisdom would dictate, a deep thud spank is actually less painful on her hand than a stinger slap.

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The next thing to concentrate on after the type of blow has been decided is the pace of them. If this session is for a “punishment” scenario then they will generally be harder and faster since the discipline aspect dictates a hard and fast, intense sensation although it can also be prolonged by using hard spanks less frequently (say 2 – 3 seconds apart.) Unless the chosen scenario is for an angry Mistress to be chastising a sub who has pissed her off, the session should start with slow blows and build up faster and harder.

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Generally, the more aroused and turned on a sub is, the harder he can take. Since even the thought of a sound spanking will turn him on considerably, he will more than likely be able to take a great deal more than he would normally.

This being said, however, many Dommes like to make a slave masturbate and orgasm right before a spanking. With his adrenaline released and his cock now limp, the spanking will be much, much more painful and effective.
Alternating the rhythm and placement of each slap will also keep the slave on his toes and keep him off guard, not knowing how hard, or even where the next one will land. – View dom sub chat for live chat rooms for spanking instructions online

This stops him from getting used to the sensation and prevents him from blotting it out to make sure he feels every single spank. Alternating cheeks, top or bottom, centre or edge. Keeping him guessing means he will dread it more which is only a good thing. Check out the mistress cams

Slow slaps are generally more effective when using a cane or birch. Each whack will leave a stinging sensation and pausing for a second lets him digest it and begin to fear the next one. Of course, rapid and soft cane strokes can also be effective after a few minutes as the skin tenderizes.

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Hairbrushes or wooden spoons are lighter so, therefore, a more rapid succession is needed so as to keep the flow of pain constant.
The intensity can begin even before the first blow has landed though. Making him fetch the implement which is going to hurt him is a powerful psychological tool at her disposal.

With a stern glance and a short, sharp tone she can command him to scurry off and fetch a hairbrush or cane then bring it to her. 

As he goes to fetch it his mind will be consumed with the pain to follow, her hard words as he lays across her lap and the thought of the CBT or corner time he faces when his spanking is over.

By the time she is ready to begin, his mind will be fucked and he will not know which way is up. Another good psychological method is a delay tactic. Our live femdom cams are a place where you can explore BDSM and spankings without feeling judged, it’s private and discreet for you to explore fully any fetish or desire you may have

Bare-bottomed and exposed over her knee, telling him how naughty he is and how much this will hurt will get inside his head and make his own fear make each whack hurt more.

Likewise, making him stand before her as she lectures him about his disobedience also has the desired effect.

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Spanking is a femdom technique as old as the scene itself and derives much of its effect from the utter childishness it. Trousers pulled down, yanked over her lap with your bare ass on display, and being talked to in a condescending tone by a superior, dominant female will all render you back to a child-like state. We enjoy spanking naughty sissy girls and submissives make sure to check out our sissy pictures  from real sessions

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This and the inevitable corner time with a stinging ass to reflect on your behaviour all make for a powerful session that will be “enjoyed” by both parties.

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Setting Rules and Expectations for Domestic Discipline

As the dominant partner in a BDSM relationship, I need to set clear rules and expectations for my submissive. This ensures they understand my needs and how to please me, as well as the consequences if those rules are broken.

Discuss Limits and Safe Words

The first step is having an open conversation about hard and soft limits, as well as safe words. I need to know what my sub is comfortable with and unwilling to do so I can avoid pushing them too far. Safe words also give them a way to stop the scene immediately if needed.

Be Specific About Rules

Lay out exactly what is expected in terms of behaviour, chores, and obedience. For example, rules could include things like:

  • Addressing me as “Sir”

  • Completing household chores before I get home from work

  • Asking permission before spending money or making plans

  • No lying or hiding things from me

The rules should cover all aspects of the dynamic you want in your relationship. Be very clear in your explanations so there are no misunderstandings.

Issue Appropriate Discipline

When rules are broken, discipline must be swift and fit the offence. Things like spanking, corner time, or loss of privileges are common ways to punish a submissive. The discipline should be meaningful to them and help reinforce their control and authority. Be consistent but also willing to show mercy and forgiveness when deserved.

Domestic discipline requires work to maintain but can be an incredibly rewarding dynamic for both partners if done right. With open communication, clearly defined rules, and appropriate consequences when needed, you’ll have a submissive who respects and craves your control. The key is finding the right balance of discipline and reward to keep them obedient and devoted to pleasing you.

Creative BDSM Spanking Ideas and Scenarios

Roleplaying scenes.

Roleplaying different scenarios is one of my favourite ways to spice up discipline scenes. Some ideas include student/teacher, boss/employee or master/servant. Create characters and a plot ahead of time to immerse yourself in the fantasy. Acting out these roles allows you to tap into different power dynamics and can lead to some very creative punishments!

Bare bottom spankings.

There’s something extra humiliating (in the best way!) about having your bare bottom on display during a spanking. For added embarrassment, position yourself in a way that leaves you feeling exposed, such as over the knee or bent over a table. Bare bottom spankings tend to sting more too, so they’re perfect for brats who need an extra firm lesson in obedience.

Experiment with different positions.

The classic over-the-knee position is always a favourite, but don’t be afraid to get creative. Try bending over a table, chair or bed, standing against a wall, on all fours or even in a hogtie position. Different positions can change the sensation and level of intensity. Find positions you both find erotic and empowering.

Use spanking implements.

While the hand is sensual, spanking implements like paddles, straps, canes and floggers can take the pain to another level. Start slowly and carefully, as these tools can cause damage if not used properly. Always communicate with your partner about what you both find pleasurable and be very careful, especially when trying out new implements.

Spanking and discipline play can be a lot of fun when done safely and consensually. Don’t be afraid to laugh, use your imagination and find what works for you! The key is lots of communication, trust and of course, finding the right level of intensity for the perfect sting.

BDSM Discipline FAQs: Your Most Pressing Questions Answered

How do I start exploring disciplined play?

If you’re new to the BDSM discipline, start slowly. Talk to your partner about what you’re both interested in trying and set clear boundaries and a safe word in case things get too intense. You might begin with some light spanking or paddling and see how it feels. Remember, you’re in control and you can stop at any time.

What’s the difference between discipline and punishment?

Discipline refers to the act of training or conditioning someone, often through the use of rules and consequences to shape behaviour. Punishment is the consequence that follows rule-breaking, like a spanking. Discipline aims to teach, while punishment aims to deter unwanted actions. In BDSM, discipline and punishment are tools used during power exchange to give the dominant control and the submissive direction.

What kinds of things can be used for impact play?

There are many tools you can use for impact play like spanking paddles, canes, crops, straps, and floggers. Wooden paddles sting the most, while leather floggers distribute impact. Be very careful when using canes or crops, as they can cause damage if not used properly. Always start light and build up slowly. Never use anything that isn’t specifically designed for impact play.

How can I be disciplined without physical punishment?

Physical discipline is not for everyone. Some alternative discipline methods include:

  • Writing lines: Have your sub write a rule or phrase repeatedly. This can be tedious and humbling.

  • Corner time: Have your sub stand facing the corner of the room for some time.

  • Restricting privileges: Take away something your sub enjoys, like TV time or orgasms.

  • Giving additional chores or tasks: Discipline your sub by giving them extra work to do, such as cleaning, exercising, or journalling.

The key is finding what works for you and your partner. Discipline in BDSM is a journey, not a destination. Start slowly, communicate openly, and have fun with it!

Spanking Scenarios

I enjoy spanking scenarios in my power exchange relationships. As the dominant partner, coming up with creative scenes helps keep things exciting. One of my favourite scenarios involves having my submissive partner bend over my lap for an over-the-knee (OTK) spanking. Starting off slowly by hand and gradually building up the intensity with different paddles and straps allows me to gauge their reactions and limits. The vulnerability and intimacy of this position also allow for caressing and teasing in between swats.

Another scenario I like to employ is having them kneel on the bed while I stand behind them. This provides easy access to their bottom and thighs, allowing me to spank them all over. I’ll often have them count out the number of spanks or thank me after each one to reinforce their submission. If they lose count or forget to thank me, I start over from one! This kind of discipline helps train good behaviour.

For bratty subs who need a little more correction, corner time scenarios are ideal. Having them stand in the corner, hands on their head, while their freshly spanked bottom is on display can be quite humiliating and help break down their resistance. I might set a timer and add additional swats if they move from the corner before the time is up. By the end of their corner time, they are usually very contrite and well-behaved.

Spanking scenarios allow me to be creative in my role as a dominant while also meeting the needs of my submissive partners. Trying out different positions, implements, and techniques keeps things interesting for both parties. With clear communication about limits and desires, spanking scenarios can be a fun and rewarding part of power exchange relationships.

Sex And Submission

Discipline plays an important role in BDSM and submission. As a submissive, I give up control to my dominant partner during our scenes and rely on them to properly discipline me if needed. For us, discipline usually takes the form of erotic spanking.

Choosing a Safe Word

Before any kind of BDSM play, it’s crucial to choose a safe word so I can stop the action if it becomes too intense. My dominant and I use the stoplight system—green means keep going, yellow means slow down, and red means stop immediately. Using a safe word allows me to push my limits in a controlled way.

Bending Over

When it’s time for discipline, my dominant instructs me to bend over their lap or a piece of furniture like a table. This submissive position leaves my bottom exposed and vulnerable, heightening my anticipation of what’s to come. My dominant may start by caressing my bottom, then delivering a series of stinging slaps to warm me up.

Varying Intensity

A good spanking builds in intensity. My dominant starts gently, then increases the force and speed of the slaps. In between, they massage my reddened skin. This mix of pleasure and pain keeps me aroused and wanting more. The spanking continues until I reach my limit and use our safe words.


After an intense spanking, aftercare is essential. My dominant soothes my sore bottom with lotion and holds me close. This physical intimacy and emotional support help me come down from the adrenaline high and reinforce our connection. Discipline in our BDSM play is ultimately about trust, communication, and bringing us closer together.

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As a submissive, I crave discipline and structure from my Dominant. Degrading play scratches that itch for me. When my Dom calls me names like “slut” or “whore,” it reinforces my place beneath Him and deepens my submission.

Verbal humiliation gets me into the proper headspace to fully submit to whatever torment my Dom has planned. Hearing how worthless I am, especially when coupled with physical discipline like spanking or caning, gives me an almost transcendent experience of submission.

My Dom and I have certain “rituals” we like to act out that incorporate degradation. For example, He’ll have me kneel at His feet as He berates me, slapping my face or pulling my hair to punctuate His insults. Then He’ll “force” me to pleasure Him while continuing to degrade me. After He finishes, He wipes Himself off on my face to show how little He thinks of me. These scenes are intensely erotic for me and reaffirm my place as His object.

Of course, degradation is not for everyone. It requires a high level of trust and communication between partners. My Dom and I have in-depth conversations about each other’s limits and desires. We also use a safeword in case anything becomes too intense. Degradation can be a fun kink to explore, but only if done carefully and consensually. The submissive’s emotional safety must always come before the Dom’s pleasure. With the proper care and trust though, degradation can lead to mind-blowing scenes for submissives like me.


So there you have it – my top tips for keeping your sub in line! Discipline is so important in any D/s relationship, but it’s also a delicate balance. Go too easy and your sub will walk all over you; go too hard and you risk breaking their trust.

The main thing is communication. Check-in regularly, discuss boundaries, and make sure you’re both getting what you need. Aftercare is vital too – never underestimate the power of a cuddle once the spanking is over. Play safe, and have fun exploring this thrilling side of BDSM together! Spanking scenarios are limitless, so get creative and find out what works for you. Just remember – it’s all about mutual care, trust a